Those Icy Blue Eyes
by Saf Dawnheart
Summary: Sometimes, happy endings don't work out that easily. — Bramble/Squirrel.


Yeah, I know you all want me to post on Where One's Heart Lies and Aftermath, but for now I shall torture you by making you read another random oneshot! Heheh, jk. This one's Squirrelflight's POV on the events in Starlight, and why the hell exactly she hates that Brambleclaw spends time with Hawkfrost so much. Read and enjoy!

**_Disclaimer-_** Sigheth. Okay, you want me to say it? Fine. It. XD Nah, in real life, I don't own Warriors.

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"_Alright, I give up. It's not going to work, is it? You and me?"_

He doesn't even know how much I regret those words. He doesn't even know how at night, when no cat is looking, I gaze up at the sky and wonder _why_ in StarClan's name I said it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I had it all planned out in my mind. It was like every other couple, like my parents, like every other pair of mates out there with offspring: she-cat meets tom, she-cat and tom fall in love, kits are born. It was as simple as that. And as far as I was concerned, it was going to be the same for me and Brambleclaw.

_"Oh, Brambleclaw. My heart is in ThunderClan, can't you see that? My heart is with _you."

_Why_ had I been so impulsive, to just assume I loved him when I was a mere apprentice? Was it because it seemed just so glorious at the time, like a ray of sunlight in the midst of the storm? Was it because that among all the destruction and famine in the old forest, I still had Brambleclaw to lean on?

Was it because _it was the best option at the time?_

I had it all planned out. We were going to have kits, to be happy.

But happy endings don't work out that easily.

Things were going fine until Brambleclaw started spending time with his half brother. Every time I so much as think of the RiverClan tom's name, it's all I can do to suppress a spit of disgust. Hawkfrost.

He looks a lot like Brambleclaw: big dark tabby, broad shoulders, rippling muscles. The only difference is the color of their eyes. And that's what worries me.

Every time I look into Hawkfrost's icy blue eyes, I can't repress a shiver tracing cold claws up my spine. Every time I see the ambition lurking in those topaz orbs, a sense of both fear and hatred scythes through me.

And I wonder how this cat can be related to Brambleclaw, my Brambleclaw, the cat who led us all on the journey.

But in actuality, I don't actually know why I hate Hawkfrost so much. At first I assumed it was because he was taking up so much of Brambleclaw's time, but around the time of the Gathering that I first told Brambleclaw we weren't going to work out, I realized it wasn't that. I've always been an attention seeker, so that had always seemed to be the logical reason.

That wasn't it.

I know Hawkfrost is ambitious – the way he tried to grab the Island for RiverClan proved that much – and he tries to hide it behind the "fiercely loyal" façade. However, even though I don't exactly know whether or not Hawkfrost is evil, that's what I tell Brambleclaw.

Ambition can be deadly, though. The stories I've heard of Tigerstar prove that.

No, I realized, I didn't want Brambleclaw's attention, though I believe that was the face I put on when I started being with Ashfur. The idea of what I had realized, though, disgusted me even more.

I wanted to protect Brambleclaw. And even though I know Brambleclaw's an older warrior, he can take care of himself, I still can't believe what a mousebrain he's being. He should know about Hawkfrost's ambition, and I think he does, but far from being uneasy about it like I am, he just ignores it.

So I pretended to like Ashfur even more in an attempt to make Brambleclaw jealous. And it worked. Every day whenever I saw Brambleclaw coming around, I would "somehow" spot Ashfur and pad over to hunt with him. Sometimes I would even make up excuses, just to get away from Brambleclaw. It's one of those things that I have no idea why I'm doing – the stubborn, sarcastic part of me insists I'm being a coward, but I know I'm just avoiding him because I don't want to face him about his brother.

But I miss Brambleclaw, so much. He doesn't know how much I long for him on lonely days like these. He doesn't know how much I want to tell him that _Hawkfrost's using you, can't you see that, Brambleclaw, look at me._

I look around the camp now and see the couples of ThunderClan, sharing tongues, fresh-kill. Brackenfur and Sorreltail; Dustpelt and Ferncloud; Cloudtail and Brightheart; Firestar and Sandstorm; Whitepaw and Spiderleg; the elders Mousefur and Longtail. Even those without mates or love interests have still found a close friend to share it with; those are laughing and purring in amusement as the bright newleaf sunlight cascades upon them.

I want so desperately to be a part of that again, for me and Brambleclaw to be a part of the close group of cats. To bury my muzzle in the scent of his fur and never look up again. To race up to him and yowl for the world to hear, _Brambleclaw, I love you._

But that can never happen.

And I'm reminded of that every time I look into Hawkfrost's icy blue eyes.

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Well, I'm painfully aware of the fact that this was reeeeeeeeally short, but review anyway! Please? (puppy eyes) Brambleclaw plushies to everyone who reviews! (Heheh, I'm giving you guys quite the plushie collection, aren't I? Well, I'm not the one who makes them! -shifty eyes- Crap, did I just type that out loud?)


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